Cross Ministry - Wake Forest, NC

After two facelifts, a forehead and under-eye lift, two nose jobs, an eyeliner tattoo, a tummy-tuck, cheek implants, three teeth bondings, a chemical peel, and others things I cannot list here, Phyllis Diller says she is satisfied with her looks. Members of the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery voted Miss Diller an award in 1986 for publicizing her surgery. Phyllis Diller has spent well over $50,000 on cosmetic surgery. Said Ms. Diller, "I've done more for plastic or cosmetic surgery than Bayer has done for aspirin; I've made it respectable."

What Phyllis Diller and mankind have in common is a problem with our image. We may not be able to shell-out $50,000 for complete make overs, but we do, more often than not, perceive ourselves in a negative or false way. That's where Ms. Diller and I have something in common.

For many years I perceived myself as a homosexual and thus acted on that false belief and distorted image. The Bible rightfully says, "As a man thinks in his heart, so he is."

Our fascination and preoccupation with our physical image is but a symptom of a greater, possibly subconscious concern regarding our spiritual image. The Apostle John wrote, "Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when he shall appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." (1 John 3:2) In this one verse comes this truth--What we are and what we shall be centers solely in the person and work of Jesus Christ.

John writes "Now are we the sons of God." This is based on fact. Dr. Peter Gomes is Plummer Professor of Christian Morals at Harvard College, and he is gay. He recently traveled the country promoting his book, The Good Book. He states his lifelong goal remains to "rehabilitate the scriptures for general use."

Scripture needs not to be rehabilitated, but practiced. Vance Havner said "The Word of God is either absolute or it's obsolete." The Bible does not need rehabilitation; rather we need transformation.

Whereas verse one says "we should be called the sons of God," verse two says "Now are we the sons of God." When you accept Christ into your life, at that moment, "old thing are past away; behold all things have become new."

The problem is with our adversary. Satan is the author of confusion. Satan's power is not in strength, but in his ability to confuse and deceive. If you think David Copperfield is the master of illusion, think again!

As early as age six, I knew I was "different." When I reached puberty, I recognized an attraction for the same sex. During my mid-teens I wore a tiny piece of paper under my watchband on which I had scribbled almost microscopically, "Lord, I am trusting you for healing." I had already accepted Christ as my Savior, but had allowed a horrible home life to distort my perception of whom I was in Christ.

The greatest military strategy of history has been reduced to three words, "divide and conquer." And Satan's strategy is similar, "confuse and conquer." Homosexuality is confusion! With all my heart I wanted to be free from the mental suffering and agonized confusion that tormented me day and night. Whereas Satan is the author of confusion, God is the author of order; God created cosmos out of chaos. (Gen. 1)

When discussing human sexuality from a biblical perspective, we do not have the privilege to begin anywhere; we must begin where the Bible begins--Genesis..."and God made them male and female." Genesis 1:26-27 reads "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness...So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." It is no coincidence that in two verses the word "image" is used three times and "likeness" is used once. Yet, what God easily creates, Man just as quickly distorts; the image of God in us is flawed.

This flaw is evidenced in Genesis 5:1-3. Two chapters after Adam and Eve eat us out of house and home we read "This is the written account of Adam's line. When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them 'man.'

When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seth." Verse one reiterates that Man was created in God's image. Yet two verses later we read that Adam had a son named Seth who was in Adam's, not God's likeness and image.

What I believe the writer is doing is contrasting the family of God with the family of Adam or put another way, he contrasts God's family with the Adam's Family.

As distorted as Man's view is of himself, Romans 8:16 says "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God." Not only is the Christian's image based on fact, it is believed by faith. Even Jesus was tempted to doubt His deity both at the inauguration and culmination of His earthly ministry. Repeatedly He was told "If you are the Son of God..." (See Matt 4:3, 6, 27; Luke 23)

Many of those I talk with tell me they have always felt gay. So did I, but that does not mean God created us gay. Many times before I get out of bed, I feel like dirt. But when I climb out of bed and look in the mirror, I don't see dirt looking back. "We walk by faith and not by sight."

First, it is a veiled promise. Although Christians are now the children of God, there is a dimension of that relationship that remains to be revealed and experienced.

John wrote, "And it does not yet appear what we shall be." John frankly admits, "We do not know the character of our future appearance." First Corinthians 13:12 reads "For now we see through a glass, darkly..."-- a veiled promise.

As a teenager I did not understand nor did I really believe in God's promise to remake me like Him. Thus, I became involved in homosexual activity.

Homosexuality is gross darkness, which as someone used to say, is one hundred and forty-four times darker than typical darkness. At age twenty-two I determined that God could keep me from sexual sin. I did have my doubts as to His ability to heal me. Although I could not understand how God could repair my broken image, I was reminded that Jesus did not say "only understand"; He said "only believe."

I became aware that Jesus Christ did not want a prominent place in my life. He wanted the dominant place in my life. In the musical Oklahoma, Ado Annie sings to her roving boyfriend "with me it's all or nothin'. Is it all or nothin' with you?" For God to answer my prayer for change, it had to be all or nothin'. Someone has said "Jesus Christ is either Lord of all or He is not Lord at all!"

A striking bit of advice comes from Jesus' mother, Mary. At a wedding in Cana, after realizing the good wine is gone, Mary tells the servants, "Whatever (Jesus) tells you to do, do it." I doubt Mary recognized the eternal significance of her advice. I honestly did not know how to be heterosexual, but I did know how to be obedient. The dictionary is the only place where change comes before obedience!

Oswald Chambers, in his excellent devotional My Utmost For His Highest writes, "God will tax the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us when we obey Him." Not only is this a veiled promise, it is a victorious promise. John writes "We shall be like Him." What a grand promise that is!

Homosexuality may promise to gratify, but it cannot satisfy. Homosexuality may promise excitement, but it cannot provide fulfillment.

I learned God's promise painfully. Just as God went looking for Adam and Eve when they ate forbidden fruit, so Jesus Christ came looking for me when I had lost my way. He wooed me; He wowed me; He won me. As a Gospel song says, "When He was on the cross, I was on His mind."

The Bible teaches that Christ will return for those who belong to Him. Here John writes of the definiteness of Christ's return. "Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear..." The word know conveys certainty; John uses it more than thirty times in five chapters. It's the same word he uses when he writes "These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that you may know you have eternal life." He continues to underscore the definiteness of Christ's return, "...when he shall appear..." Not if!

No other religion distinguishes itself with the promise that the Creator and Redeemer shall personally return to take His children home with Him. In this text we find not only the definiteness of Christ's return, but the demonstration of Christ's return. "When he shall appear."

A. T. Robertson writes, "The transforming power of the vision of Christ is the glorious process begun at the new birth." Then John concludes his great thought with "We shall see Him as He is."

The London preacher Charles Spurgeon purchased a copy of Andrew Bonar's commentary on Leviticus. Spurgeon sent the book to Bonar requesting his autograph and a photograph. Bonar returned the commentary with this inscription, "Dear Spurgeon, here is the book with my autograph and photograph. If you had been willing to wait a short time, you could have had a better likeness of me, for I shall be like him, when I see him as he is."

I am not yet what God created me to be, but thanks be to God I'm not what I was. And although I'm no longer gay, I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I owe that to Jesus Christ.