When helping people who hurt, homosexual or otherwise, our questions reveal a lot about what we consider important and our first question sets the stage for all that follows.

 

In Mark 5, Jesus meets "the man from Gadara" – a man who is naked, lives among the tombs, cuts himself with stones, breaks out of chains, and screams at the top of his voice.

 

This was a real man with real hurts and yet he could easily represent the multitudes of hurting people we meet everyday. But don't make assumptions based on this man.

 

Don't assume all peoples' hurts are conspicuous. Any emergency room triage nurse would have moved this man to the front of the line because his need was conspicuous – "naked and bleeding."

 

Behind many a smiling face or angry expression is a person who carries a burden. Not all those in the gay lifestyle are gay and some of the most celebrated comedians have nothing to laugh at when the show is over.

 

Don't assume all people who hurt will ask for help. The man in Mark 5 ran to Jesus, but that's not always the case. Many who experience despair beyond description run from Jesus. Adam and Eve hid themselves from God – but God went looking for them asking "Where are you?"

 

The prodigal son left home, wasted his inheritance and learned to slop hogs – but the father stood on tiptoe looking for his wayward son while the son was "a long way off."

 

When I was as lost as a goose in a homosexual hailstorm, God wooed me, wowed me and won me with a love that eclipsed the world's superficial loves.

 

Don't assume all that people need are tangible things. Here stood a man who did 2,000 years ago what some people still do today – self-mutilate. What possesses a person to slice their skin until blood flows? We could spend eternity attempting to answer that question.

 

But let's watch Jesus – who asks this miserable man a question - which we will get to directly.

 

For a moment though, let's imagine what questions other persons might have asked this distraught man had they seen him.

 

A government employee might have asked "What is your social security number?"
A psychotherapist might have asked "What is your problem?"
A financial planner might have asked "What's in your portfolio?"
A politician might have asked "What is your party affiliation?"
A lawyer might have asked "What is your grievance?"
A philosopher might have asked "What is your worldview?"
An astrologist might have asked "What is your sign?"
A photojournalist might have asked "What is your best side?"
An ex-gay ministry director (like me) might have asked "What is your sexual orientation?"

 

None of the above questions are necessarily inappropriate, but not all of them are relevant

 

This man was naked, yet Jesus did not ask "where is the nearest clothes closet?"

 

This man lived in a cemetery, yet Jesus did not ask "do you need a real estate agent?"

 

This man broke out of chains, yet Jesus did not ask "who in your town makes reinforced chains?"

 

I am not criticizing social ministries which provide for tangible needs; on the contrary, I commend social ministries, but what's their purpose if they are not "marked by or conducive to friendliness or pleasant social relations"?

 

When Jesus approached this man, He cut through all the red tape and asked this visibly broken and burdened man the most personal, practical and pertinent question He could - "What is your name?"

 

Sometime ago, I and a friend – who is a prominent biblical scholar - were guests on a TV talk show. Speaking from an opposing position was a homosexual advocate whom I had met and befriended a few years earlier.

 

I specifically watched the scholar to see how he would interact with the homosexual man before and after the taping. This learned scholar, for whom I have high respect, never asked the homosexual his name. My Christian friend continued to debate homosexuality even after the program ended.

 

Behind every despairing individual is a name.

 

Jesus eventually healed this man from Gadara- but not until He made His first question the right question.

 

What does your 'first question' say about you?