We were on our way home from a family vacation and decided to spend a day in New Orleans. We wandered through shops, ate beignets and had a sidewalk artist do a portrait of our son. It still hangs in our den 25 years later. As the day drew to a close we headed for the car. We wanted to be out of the downtown area before nightfall.

As we headed out of town many of the denizens of Bourbon Street were beginning to wander through the area. Several of the men were walking hand in hand and openly expressing their affection. My son and I were instantly disgusted and expressed our disgust rather vehemently. My wife on the other hand just looked sadly out the window.

As I continued with my diatribe she finally looked at me and said “doesn’t that make you sad?” Sad was not exactly the emotion I was feeling. “Why would I be sad?” I asked. “Doesn’t it bother you that so many of them will probably die of AIDS?” she answered. Well, up until that point it hadn’t crossed my mind. I was much too busy enjoying my righteous indignation.

I could never have imagined that my next trip to New Orleans would be to make a motion at the 2001 meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention. That motion would ask the SBC to establish a Task Force to “inform, educate and encourage our SBC constituency to be proactive and redemptive in reaching out to those who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction.”

That journey began in 1994 when God managed to convince me that what I thought was “prophetic” was redemptively bankrupt. I sensed some probing questions. “If someone who struggled with that issue heard you preach would they come to you for help?” “If they did what would you tell them?” I realized that no one dealing with homosexuality would dare come to me for counsel. Not if they were in their right mind.

I began to ask around and soon discovered my predicament was quite common. After several months I discovered a group called Exodus (www.Exodus.to) and wrote to them. The information they sent me included a brochure for their annual conference - which I had no intention of attending. I had no desire to spend a week on a campus with 800 homosexuals - ex or otherwise. So, much to my amazement, in June of 1995 I found myself in San Diego, Ca. for the 25th annual conference of Exodus International. My life would never be the same.

In the years since that time numerous men and women who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction have told me of being wounded by pastors saying just what I said for many years.

One young woman told of sitting in a Sunday school class and hearing one of the leaders say that “he really wasn’t comfortable being around homosexuals and hoped that none would come to their class.” To which she responded “I’m glad you weren’t the first person I met at this church. I wouldn’t be a Christian now.”

I remember one man telling how he had finally worked up the nerve to attend a church hoping to find someone who could help him find the way out of his struggle. During his first and last visit he heard the pastor tell the “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” story. It would be quite some time before he finally found a church in which he felt “safe.”

I cringed as I realized that while I don’t think I ever told that “joke” from the pulpit, I had repeated it and thought it ever so clever. I wondered how many may have heard me and gone away wounded and discouraged, despairing of finding help. Had I driven some back into the arms of the homosexual community with my cleverness?

In the coming months I was made aware of how very little I knew about this struggle or how to really help someone who wanted to change. But I had changed! I was determined to learn all I could about this issue. I was also determined to do all I could to awaken the church to the need and to our responsibility.

When the tsunami struck Asia in December of 2004 I couldn’t understand how something so powerful could travel hundreds of miles across the ocean and not be noticed. A little research showed me that although the initial wave was only 2- 3 feet high it traveled up to 500 mph. As it neared the shallow waters near land it would rise up to 80-100 ft. with incredible force.

Over the last 25-30 years activists have been working tirelessly behind the scenes to bring about societal acceptance of homosexuality. While most people have gone about their business basically unaware, the momentum has been building. Now we are facing a movement of incredible power and too many of us still don’t understand the stakes.

This is not a call to combat homosexual activists. It is a challenge to open our eyes to the thousands of men and women, mothers and fathers, children, and, yes, husbands and wives whose lives will be tragically impacted by this sin.

Several times recently I’ve gotten calls from parents and students confused about what is being taught in classrooms. They are being told that everyone now knows that homosexuality is genetic and change isn’t possible. Reinforcing this is the constant barrage of television and movies which not only portray this mantra but go a step further in portraying those who disagree as mindless cretins.

Some studies seem to show that our youth are becoming more conservative. But it would be foolish to assume this continued onslaught can be overcome if we don’t begin offering accurate information with a loving and compassionate delivery vehicle.

As this wave continues to grow the conservative church faces a challenge which is ultimately greater than the issue of homosexuality itself. I’ve met many people in Southern Baptist churches who have begun to question what the Bible says about homosexuality. It isn’t couched in those terms. They have just begun to wonder if change really is possible. Much of this is due to the fact that they have not read or heard anything to counteract the daily barrage from our culture, but the end result is an eroding of total confidence in Scripture.

Once our confidence in the authority of Scripture is weakened we will have difficulty speaking with assurance on other moral issues our culture calls into question.

In some respects this could be a moot point if the growing surge succeeds with hate crime legislation. With a multitude of politicians and a dearth of statesmen Congress seems certain to push through hate crime legislation. Many have argued that these laws are not a threat to freedom of religion. If you believe that you haven’t been keeping up. Numerous countries have already silenced Christian opposition. While some believe that couldn’t happen here I would direct them to the corn belt.

The Iowa senate recently approved an anti-bullying bill which would require local school boards to adopt policies that restrict harassment of all students, including a specific mention of gay and lesbian students. The senators overwhelmingly refused to allow an exception for private schools which leaves administrators of Christian schools fearful of lawsuits if they teach that homosexuality is a sin.

In recent years some activists have insisted that simply stating that you believe the Bible says homosexual acts are sinful is hate speech. While this may seem far fetched, look at the furor surrounding General Pace when he commented that in his opinion homosexual acts are immoral.

As Christians we should clearly be opposed to all forms of bullying and harassment. We can all agree that hate emanates from the pit of Hell whether or not it results in a crime. If it does result in a crime it should be prosecuted according to existing law. History, however, has shown us repeatedly the tragedies that result when the government determines which thoughts are acceptable.

Another concern is the impact on our children. More and more we’re hearing of children as young as 8 years of age deciding they are homosexual. Too often well meaning adults encourage them in this deception.

Equally frightening is the subtle marginalizing of Christians. It is one thing to face the threat of political gamesmanship. It will not be the first time. It is quite another to be reduced to a caricature, an object of ridicule.

I watched 20-20 one night to see former homosexuals share their stories. I knew several of them personally and was curious to see how their stories would be received.

Each spoke convincingly of the change in their lives, of their contentment and joy. They were not argumentative, they simply spoke in the simple tradition of John 1:9 “One thing I know, I was homosexual and now I’m not.”

But John Stossel and Barbara Walters were much more impressed with those who said “we tried it and it didn’t work.” Period. End of discussion. In the finest tradition of modern journalism Walters mentioned “the growing body of opinion that says that people are born homosexual” to which Stossel responded, “Right, which is one more reason I’m skeptical.

You can repress these feelings but it’s hard to believe you can change.”

Well of course a good journalist should never let facts get in the way of telling the story he wants to tell. For all the headlines and lead stories we’ve seen and heard for over a decade now not one scientifically accepted, replicable study has shown a genetic causation.

Recently Dr. Francis S. Collins, one of the world's leading scientists, who works at the cutting edge of DNA, concluded that "there is an inescapable component of heritability to many human behavioral traits. For virtually none of them is heredity ever close to predictive." Dr. A. Dean Byrd says “It is important however, to note that even in ... studies with identical twins, that heritability is not to be confused as inevitability. As Dr. Collins would agree, environment can influence gene expression, and free will determines the response to whatever predispositions might be present.”

Many studies by secular scientists have shown that change is possible. But Walters, Stossel and a host of others seem to have missed those results. They have chosen instead to misrepresent those who have changed and give the appearance that they are both deceived and deceivers. Stossel closed the interview segment with his “give me a break” comment. The inference? These people are kooks. Pay no attention to them.

So how should the church respond to the tidal wave of activism? How should the church respond to homosexuality in general?

Dr. Jeffery Satinover says “Here then is the conundrum we face.....On the one hand we must decide how best to counter the tactics of intimidation and refute the false claims of a group that operates in the hostile mode of raw, power politics. On the other hand we must retain the profound compassion and fellow-feeling toward individual homosexuals that we ourselves need and yearn for from others. We must respect as fellows the very individuals whom we may reject as claimants in the public square.” (P. 21, “Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth”)

For at least the last two decades our actions and attitudes have been primarily reactive. But if we’re to stem this tide we must change this. For many of us this change must begin with our own attitudes. Paul tells us that our battle is not with flesh and blood (Eph. 6:12). We are not at war against our culture. The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh (2 Cor. 10:4).

Clearly we need to be able to respond to the continual stream of misinformation. But we’d better not let that obscure our original objective. Our task is to proclaim the power of the risen Christ to set all men free. We must be clear that this freedom includes freedom from the power of sin as well as from the penalty of sin. Our burden must be for all those who have been deceived. It doesn’t matter that many are convinced they are not deceived.

With a measure of complicity on our part we have too often been portrayed as bigots, as angry, hateful people. As we clarify our objective we will be better able to demonstrate that the truest loving approach is to tell the truth.

Dr. Mohler has written “Our ministry to homosexuals is not as the sinless ministering to sinners, but as fellow sinners who bear testimony to the reality of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. To the homosexual, as to all others, we must speak in love, never in hatred. But the first task of love is to tell the truth, and the sign of true hatred is the telling of a lie. Those who genuinely love homosexuals are not those who would revolutionize morality to meet their wishes, but those who will tell them the truth, and point them to the One who is the Way, the Truth and the Life.”

Our hearts should be broken over statistics that show so much brokenness in homosexual strugglers. While it is certainly not true of all homosexuals, statistically same sex strugglers have a significantly shorter life span than heterosexuals, are more subject to emotional struggles, have higher suicide rates, higher rates of depression and higher rates of substance abuse.

Some blame this on guilt inducing conservative Christians. However these statistics hold true even in places such as New Zealand and Norway which are extremely “gay friendly.”

Unfortunately some Christians have used such statistics as an “I told you so” instead of a call to minister the healing power of Christ.

Dr. Barrett Duke, Vice President of the Ethics and Religious Liberties Commission said, “The church must come to terms with the entire issue of homosexuality and develop a comprehensive ministry approach to homosexuals. It is imperative that the church reassert the Bible’s moral high ground, but that it does so out of a comprehensive strategy designed not merely to convince homosexuals that the homosexual lifestyle is sinful. This strategy must include a genuine love for people trapped in the homosexual lifestyle that seeks first to minister and love, not to condemn. Until the church develops such an approach, it is likely that attempts to create an alternative spirituality will thrive.”

The problem has been developing that approach. We can’t even begin until we carefully examine our hearts and motives. I once wrote of a friend who is a gay activist: “He is not my ‘project.’ I am not out to convince him that I am right and he is wrong. But I do genuinely care for him. Because I love him I want him to know all the fullness and joy that God has for him. I am fully convinced that we cannot know that apart from intimate fellowship with Christ. The Bible also makes it clear that two cannot walk together unless they are agreed (Amos 3:3).

If we believe this we can ease up on our determination to prove activists wrong. We can proclaim His truth and trust Him to convict.

In the meantime, thousands of men and women are being deceived and lives destroyed. Many more of our young people will unknowingly plunge down these paths of destruction. We must do all in our power to make our churches places of refuge.

Do you know how your church would be perceived by a person struggling with unwanted same sex attraction? I’ve often heard someone say “we don’t have that ‘problem’ in our church.” I’ve often wished confidentiality agreements did not preclude me from assuring them they do.

On occasion I’ve met with the leadership of churches because they’ve just discovered a member dealing with same sex attractions. I’ve encouraged them to connect with Living Hope Ministries, the Dallas - Fort Worth Exodus referral ministry. I usually suggest that they allow the members to come to a service and share their testimonies.

This often leads to an embarrassed silence. “We don’t really think it is that big of a problem.” I remind them that they didn’t know it was a problem at all until this man went public.

Several years ago I read a newspaper article about an architect who simply couldn’t understand why he was being criticized by groups representing the disabled. He was convinced he was doing exactly what the codes required. One day a group brought him a wheel chair and invited him to tour one of his buildings. For the first time he understood what they were saying.

Many churches think they are open to strugglers but they’ve never really considered what this looks like to someone dealing with this issue. We should be open to asking someone who has experience to help us understand. We must also educate our leadership. Most Christians are unaware of how their comments on homosexuality can wound someone trying to reach out for help.

One night I sat in a group with several parents of strugglers. Not one had shared their burden with their pastor or Sunday school class. They had heard too many comments to feel safe about sharing their pain.

Far too many people have told me they found help only after writing to a para church ministry. Nothing had ever been mentioned at their church. If we are serious about change we will do all we can to make people aware of where they can find help. We will post the names and numbers of ministries and counselors who are familiar with this issue. We will address the issue redemptively from the pulpit. We will host special events designed to educate our members.

A true understanding of God’s grace will preclude us from seeing this sin as being any different from our own. One of the things that most powerfully impacted me at my first Exodus conference was the intensity of the worship. Songs were not just being sung. They were being poured out of hearts filled with gratitude and love. As I contemplated this one day I decided it was because 700 - 800 people were so keenly aware of what God had done for them and how much they needed Him. Then it was as though God spoke to me saying “The same is true for you, you’re just not as grateful.”

Tim Wilkins of Cross Ministry in North Carolina says “One of the reasons that evangelicals have not made much progress in reaching homosexuals with the Gospel is their failure to empathize with the excruciating pain homosexuals experience.”

Many straight men have had revelatory experiences when they realized that their own battles with lust were not significantly different. Brad Sargent describes it as “same root, different fruit.” Whether that battle with lust involved the same sex or a different sex the answer is the same.

We cannot hope to be an agent for change until we clarify some basic beliefs. What do you do you believe about homosexuality? Is that belief firmly rooted in Scripture? What do you really believe about change?

One night a young man said “I just wish there was some place in the Bible that told of someone overcoming homosexuality.” I assured him there was. He looked at me skeptically and said “I’ve never seen that.”

I read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 to him. I pointed out to him that this list included homosexuals.

But Paul concluded by saying ‘Some of you were like this; but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God’.” (Holman Christian Standard Bible). Both the context and the tense of the verbs make it clear that change has taken place.

This leads us to what we really believe about the power of Christ. The Bible tells us that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). Does this apply to homosexuals?

Do your stated beliefs match up with your heart beliefs here? I am frequently amazed by both conservative evangelicals and homosexual activists who aren’t really convinced God can change same sex strugglers. Some will say the best they can hope for is celibacy.

Over the years I’ve worked with many drug and alcohol addicts. Some I’ve convinced to enter Christ centered rehab centers. What fascinates me is that I see far more people successfully leave homosexuality than I see succeed in drug and alcohol rehab. But I’ve yet to meet anyone who would argue that drug addicts can’t change and we should just accept them.

The same power that set captives free in Corinth can set people free today.

When I first attended a support group for those who wanted to change the director of the ministry invited me to get involved. I explained that I was very new to this and didn’t really know how to help anyone who struggled with homosexuality. I was told that just being there and showing support would be very healing for many. In all honesty I thought I was being patronized.

But true Christian friendship is a powerful tool. One man told the story of coming out of a lifetime of homosexuality. He joined a church that knew absolutely nothing about homosexuality.

But they knew how to be a friend. The men were not reluctant to embrace him, to express their love for him. He was invited into their homes. The pastor checked on him and took him to lunch. Healing took place. Any church can do that.

I cannot say too strongly how much the church needs to get fully involved in this issue. The world is well aware of our disapproval. We desperately need to communicate our message more clearly. The church has so much to gain from these men and women for whom Christ died. I have met some of the most incredible Christians I’ve ever known in this journey and will be forever grateful to God that he didn’t give up on me.

One night I sat in a restaurant with a group of people after a group meeting had ended.

A young woman who taught school in an area district turned to me and said “So, pastor Bob, tell us. What do you really think of us?” The question caught me off guard and I hesitated a moment until I remembered something my wife had said. I realized it expressed exactly what I wanted to say. “You guys are my heroes. I have so much admiration for you. You have chosen to fight one of the fiercest battles any of us will ever face. And you have done it with the world telling you to just accept it, it’s okay. And for too long you’ve done it with the church failing to be there for you. You have been willing to fight on and press in to God. I think you are truly incredible people and any church would be very fortunate to have you.”

The wave comes ever closer to the shore. The hour is late. Can you hear the cry of God’s hurting children?

Rev Bob Stith is the National Strategist on Gender Issues of the Southern Baptist Convention